Author: AK

“It ain’t easy, livin’ like a gypsy
Tell ya, honey, how I feel
I’ve been dreaming
Floatin’ downstream and
Losin’ touch with all that’s real” – Steven Tyler, Aerosmith

Barring accidents, or even worse rain, this is my last night on the road, and I have one last day of riding.  The permanent helmet tracks in my head, that had started to fade after I took a few days off in Florida are back today.  Oddly it really didn’t take much to fall back into riding mode.  It’s almost a shame it will be over soon.

However, today’s ride certainly will not make me miss it.  I had been tracking predicted rain for today, and got up extra early this morning to try my best to beat it.  Their was rain out in Shreveport and it was moving East.  There was no avoiding it, but maybe I could get my miles in today before it hit.

It was cold this morning and I didn’t put on the right layers.  The humidity in the air made the 50 degree weather that much colder.  Five minutes into the ride, my right eye started bothering me.  I’ve been wearing my glasses the past couple of days, and so the slight tearing was making a film on the glasses.  I had the pressure to get my miles in early with a minimum of breaks, so I tried to ride through it.  It didn’t take long for me to pull over and buy some eye drops, which did precisely dick to help.  So 30 minutes later, I pull over and wash my face and glasses, still feeling slightly irritated.  I took way too long to put the thermal liner in my jacket, figuring if I was going to be crabby about my eye, at least I’ll get warm.

So, my eyes are bugging me, it’s cold, and the route was now on 2 lane barely a highway with traffic lights and no good places to stop.  I’m trying to make good mileage, but every idiot who cant do the speed limit is directly in front of me, and cops seem to be everywhere.  I was not a happy camper.

A little bit before lunch, the dark clouds I had been watching were definitely raining down ahead of me, and 20 miles east of Vicksburg the first rain hit me.  By now I’m back on freeway, so I slow down to 70.  I don’t fuck around with wet pavement, even on a BMW with the right tires.  The next two hours were miserable.  It was really raining, the temp dropped to 50, and people drive like idiots in the rain.  It never really got bad enough to make me pull over, but it was close a couple of times.  Over time, I started to get really really cold.  The jacket and pants kept me mostly dry, but warmth was still being sucked out of me by the rain and the wind.  Every muscle in my body was tense.  Riding in the rain is scary.  Scares the crap out of me everytime I do it.  I know how to handle it, and intellectually I know it’s not so dangerous.  But tell that to my freezing limbs and rain fogged visor.

It was with great relief I pulled into the Best Western in Monroe, LA.  Got my room, and then checked all my bags etc.  Unfortunately even before I had started the plastic map pouch on my tank bag had cracked.  Thankfully it has an internal waterproof flap and so there was only minimal dampness.  Everything else was fine.  Unfortunately the Dali painting stickers were not meant for the outdoors so I lost most of those.  I kinda knew that was going to happen.

“It ain’t easy, livin’ like you wanna
And it’s so hard to find piece of mind, yes it is
The way I see it, you’ve got to say shit
But don’t forget to drop me a line” – Steven Tyler, Aerosmith

I feel like I should reflect on my trip in this blog.  I have been reflecting on it a lot during the ride and my evenings. Sadly, I find myself just not wanting to write it down.  Words can be cages, and I haven’t been caging it.  I guess I’ll just say something brief.  I didn’t find any of the things I wasn’t looking for.  I know I found something I wasn’t even not looking for.   There are no words much less sentences for mu.  And I’m kinda looking forward to building a new life.

This may or may not be the last post here.  We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

Well I started back towards Texas from Florida yesterday.  I crashed at my sister’s again in my way back up from the southernmost part of Florida.  I didn’t write cuz I was too busy chilling with Becky and inheriting a cat.  His name is Face and apparently he’s mine once I find my own housing.

I am in lovely Daphne, AL.  Oh you haven’t heard of it?  Big surprise.  I intended to do a long post today, but the hotel is under renovation and no computer.  So I’ll have to make it up tomorrow.  So I’m just going to get the past two days down while it’s still fresh.

Today my divorce is finally legally complete and done.  The past is done, and when I get back to Texas I can truly start over.

But let me backup to yesterday.  I left Sanibel and rushed to St. Petersburg to visit the Dali museum.  Dali is my favorite visual artist of all time so I was ready to be in awe.  Still I was unprepared for the reality.  Especially the giant master works are incredible, no poster or picture or print I have seen really captures the awe inspiring detail, imagery and craftsmanship Dali brought to his work.  By the way, Dali leaves way more random dicks, tits and ass in his work than I ever thought before.  Oh look it’s a little penis hiding behind that giraffe, never noticed that before.

Still I had somewhere to be and the place was crowded . So instead of spending hours with each painting performing a where’s Waldo with genitals, I bought my stickers and headed up to gainseville.  I will definitely go there again.

Today I was determined to get as many miles as I can.  I want to get home.  I miss my puppy.  I’m anxious to start the next chapter of my life and the divorce finally being official just lends more urgency.  I did not get in quite a many miles as I had hoped.  People really wanted to talk at gas stations and rest areas today.  So I kept getting held up because I try to be polite.

 

Then there was over 30 minutes lost to capital one.  Big fuck you to them.  For the third time in my trip they decided my activity looked fraudulent.  Keep in mind I’ve told them I am travelling, and yo expect strange charges.  Well this time they decided my activity was so suspicious it had to be easclated.  So they cut off my card and then make me wait on hold for over 15 minutes to talk to the escalation specialist.  I rarely curse at customer service, but I was pissed as hell.  Capital One has always sucked and I was mad when they took over my Cabelas card . So I gotta spend all my points and cancel that crap as soon as I get home.

I almost screwed myself after lunch.  I forgot to fill up… And for the first time ever, Helga’s reserve light came on.  I was in the middle of nowhere, with lots of slow downs etc as they are cleaning up the hurricane damage along 10.  I have no idea how far Helga can go once she’s in reserve, like I said I’ve never run her low before.  Thankfully there was a gas station about 10 miles down the road, but it was nerve wracking, until I saw the sign for the next exit and it had gas.

No good stickers today, just a tourist trap generica sticker.  But I have lots of little Dali painting stickers on the cases, so really can’t complain.

Anyway… Typing this long on a phone sucks almost as much as capital one and dominoes.  Hey fuckers, it’s called Caesar salad for a reason, and I didn’t order ranch you ass hats.  Bet you can guess what happened.  Really I’m not that grumpy this evening, but it is time to wrap this up and get ready for tomorrow’s ride.

 

Had to add one little note.  When I got to the hotel, the clerk said “Nice bike, you’re going to let me ride it right?”  This is the sticker I bought today.

Go figure.

When I woke up today, I checked the weather report, and the expected rain for today was moving into Sunday, so made a change in plans.  Decided to go ahead on to St. Augustine today and take Sunday off as it the forecast was now rain all Sunday.  So told Becky about the change in plans, and we decided to meet in St. Augustine, then ride to her place.

It was coldish in Tallahassee and while no rain was forecast for the morning, it was dark and cloudy.  It started to drizzle a little as I was loading up so I got on Helga and took off towards lighter skies.

It was about 200 miles to St. Augustine, and Becky and I agreed to meet at a publix parking lot right next to the beach.  I rode pretty fast, rain constantly on my mind, there was still a chance of rain this evening.  That’s when I found Busy Bee’s rest area, which is apparently Florida’s answer to Buc-ees.  Except with Honey being their shtick instead of beavers.  They even had a jerky counter.  They also had lots of stickers, so that was a score.  I really should rename this blog, The Cross Country Quest for stickers.

Along the way, Becky let me know she was running late, but I was nearly at the beach, so off I went.  I got rained on for real in Jacksonville, but only for a few minutes, and then the skies turned blue, so I was feeling good as I headed to the beach.  The Publix was nearly walking distance to the beach,  but I figured I had some time before Becky would be there, so I drove slowly down A1-A looking for a spot to get closer to the beach.  I found a side street and parked by the little trail to the beach.

I was grinning ear to ear as I saw the horizon over the sand dunes.  I only had one explicit goal on this trip, and I was about to finish it.  People were fishing off the beach as I stepped onto it and clearly saw the ocean.  The ridiculous storm trooper boots I wear when riding seem even more ridiculous on a sandy beach, so I marched right on up and let the waves hit my boots.

I didn’t spend too much time, and headed back to the bike.  Once there I saw a text from Beck that she was going to be a little later than she thought, so I stripped of the snowmobile suit and went back to the beach.  I forgot to take a selfie besides my boots.

So I made it.  I’ve touched both oceans on this ride.  Managed to do it without dealing with cops, something I pretty much assumed was going to happen once.  I only needed to do a couple minor repairs to Helga along the way, one of them self inflicted.  I’m sore, but that’s it.  I made it in one piece.  It feels good to have pulled it off.  Now I just have to drive my ass home after a little vacation down here in Florida.

So I’ll be hanging out at Becky’s tomorrow, then visiting friends and hanging out for a week.  Don’t expect to many blog posts until I start heading home.  The rides been good and it’s not over yet, like I said, I gotta get back to Texas, but I’m taking a few days off in the vacation capital of the world.  I still can’t believe I’m voluntarily in Florida.

Yesterday was paper work day. I woke up early and was not feeling well at all.  Something I ate the night before did not treat me well.  I headed out early to the post office and quickly realized my stomach was not happy.  Even without all the bags on I felt unsteady on Helga.

At the post office they had both my paperwork and the previously missing package.  So Lisa had been correct!  Sadly she wasn’t there so I didn’t get to say hi.  I opened the box of food, stuffed it into my top case and tucked the paperwork into my jacket.  I had forgotten how light Helga can feel when she doesn’t have all her cases on.

Once back at the hotel I decided to extend my stay.  I still want feeling right, and doing the various live business things I had to do by checkout time seemed daunting.  As fascinating as I’m sure it is, I’ll go with the short version.  I still have health insurance, I’m getting my money from broadcom and all the viral bills are paid.

 

Day 17

So I now have two unplanned break days to make up for and I justed wanted to get miles in.  Also it’s gonna rain Saturday.  It was good to rest up, my stomach, my back and my ass all were happy for once.  My neck was being a little annoying but so be it.

 

I was in four states today  I tried really hard during my short stint in Alabama to get a sticker but could only find a generic non geo-located one.   I bolted out of Louisiana, tore through Mississippi, sputtered through Alabama and got to Florida.  I can’t believe I’m voluntarily in Florida again.  I got spit on a little bit, and the roads showed signs of recent rain, but nothing serious.  The thought of tomorrow’s expected rain loomed heavily on me during today’s ride.

As of today I’ve done over 4000 miles on this trip.  My body has truly settled into a new space.  I can feel the wear and tear of the non stop ride, but there is an equilibrium reached.  The parts that really need a break complain, and I rest them.  Actually two days of rest made the first hour of today’s ride kind of suck, but Daft Punk came to the rescue.

I’m in Tallahassee tonight.  If the weather reports are reasonably accurate, I’ll crash at my sister’s tomorrow and put my boots in the Atlantic on Sunday despite the rain.  I can’t wait to touch the ocean.  Holy fuck, I’ll have made it, not been harassed by cops (knock on wood) and only had one racist incident while crossing the entire country.  I feel blessed.

So Slidell has been at the epicenter of most minor setbacks, and today was no different.  Even in death George H. W. Bush is a pain in my ass. Oddly enough it took both Trump and Georgie boy to screw me over.  Trump declared today a national day of mourning and the post office is closed.  I started the day about 30 minutes from the post office, and now I had to hang around in town.

Mom had suggested the John C. Stennis Rocket Test facility to visit, so I went to the Infinity Science Center where they offer a tour of the rocket facility, have a museum 3D theater, and all sorts of science-y little things.  This is way more up my alley than the Alamo, so decided to make a day of it.

It was right across the border in Mississippi, and maybe 10 minutes from Slidell, so I did make it to Mississippi and hit a new state today.  Sadly, I encountered my first overt, if mild, incidence of racism while crossing the southern part of the US.  The authors of real life are seriously lazy.  I mean did it really have to happen in Mississippi?  That’s just lazy writing man.  After buying my ticket (Now they do have signs saying you will have to show ID, and foreign nationals have to show a passport) I walked up to sign up for the bus tour.  The lady just kind of stared at me with mild hostility and instead of “May I help you”, “Or want to sign up for the bus tour.”  I got a decidedly unfriendly “Yes.”   When I showed my ticket and said I wanted to register, with an unmistakable tone that gave away the answer she expected,”Well are you a citizen.”

My yes was received with an incredulous “OH!” followed by a passive aggressive, “Well I need your ID then.”  So she wrote down the information and told me they would board about 10 minutes before the tour.  I hung around the area, and of course she was extremely pleasant and talkative as they are in the south.  Full of “How may I help you’s?” and full and pleasant explanations of where to catch the bus etc.  Not a single other guest was asked their citizenship status.  So big FUCK YOU to Holly at the Infinity Science Center.  Everyone else there, especially Bill behind the counter was incredibly friendly and helpful and seemed proud of what they did.  So I still highly recommend going there.

They had a bio sciences flavor as well with exhibits and explanations of water, flooding, biodiversity etc.  Sadly, after I noticed the “Home School Monday” display I also realized none of the exhibits on erosion etc mentioned anything about the time scales these things occur over.  Oh the insidious ways religion gets into society as a whole, and acts as a force for ignorance.  Me personally, I find it insulting to God.  He wouldn’t have given us brains to figure things out and then setup a bunch of bullshit puzzles to screw with us.  I’m pretty sure a bunch of iron age jews just got their stories wrong.  Now the words of men long dead block understanding what is directly in front of our eyes.  Even the catholic church finally relented on Galileo.

The tour was short and funny.  They locked us in the bus, as we were going to secure areas, even employees can’t just go.  The test pads were huge and kind of impressive.  But that’s about it.

The cafe was decent if literally all Sysco.  Again the staff were very friendly and cool.  I filled out my feedback form (You get a free sticker) after lunch.  There was no real free form section, but for the question about least favorite part, I said Holly, as she was insulting and discriminatory.  I recommended holly take diversity training in answer to anything they could do better.    Hey, it’s funny to me.

I went nuts at the gift shop getting the other 3 stickers they have, and one each of these little metal models made from steel foil.  I won’t build them till I get back, and hopefully they won’t smooshed on the bike.

So need to acknowledge something finally, I discovered two nights ago the Zombie was missing.  I called all the hotels I had been at and he was not found. I hope the Zombie gets found and someone has fun with him.  Anyway I needed a new companion, so I bought a little spaceman at the gift shop.  His name is Rick, for no particular reason.  He’ll finish the trip with me… I hope.  I’m not sure I want to carry around alligator Steve.  (Hint : I’m heading to Florida and I refuse to do Disney)

There nearby rest area had a model lander.  And a Confederate monument.  God bless ya Mississippi, free the slaves, civil rights, you still gonna do racist you.

So I backtracked to Slidell, and will end the day back in Louisiana.   Grabbed a best western and hopefully I can show up tomorrow at 8am, and get back to the hotel to take care of things.  Here’s hoping.  I’m off to do laundry and find dinner.

 

So last night, I just didn’t want to do it, so I’ll get both days now.  Yesterday’s ride was relatively short and uneventful.  But at least I found a camp ground.  The highlight of the ride was Buc-ees. Which is evil and in many ways the roadside embodiment of what’s wrong with people, when you dress it all up and try to make it look good.  Like makeup on a corpse you didn’t embalm.  But I got buc-ees stickers, gas and some pork tenderloin.  Not quite an opiate for the masses, but you need a prescription for those.

White Oaks Park in somewhere Louisiana.  At least I covered another state.  The place was weird.  I don’t know exactly how to describe it.  It was mostly RV pullthroughs with 4 tent sites with gravel pits for the tents.  Which made stringing up my tent kind of weird.  I know it sounds strange, but actually gravel pits were very comfortable to sleep on.  It was pea gravel and with a sleeping pad on top of it, it actually conformed to my bony body and was almost luxurious.

So as to being weird.  One, trucks kept coming through and not staying.  There were way more campers than trucks to pull them.  There was a small house on the campgrounds, but no signs. no number, no nothing.  Not sure if it had anything to do with the campgrounds or not.  Also when I got there there was a smoldering fire, reeking of plastic and beer cans.  Once again some fuckers cut down a live tree for a fire.  This time I just broke up some deadfall and used it for a nice fire and to finish burning off the plastic in the fire pit.

The place had the feel of people living there because they can’t afford a trailer park, i certainly could be wrong, but it felt that way for some of the sites.  Also, two little girls tried to sell me a tent.  One of them came up and said my tent looked pretty small.  She had a bigger one she was trying to sell.  There was a little chit-chat as I demured on said tent purchase.  The girl tried to work me too, telling me I was tall etc.  It later occurred to me that i had seen those little girls playing as I came in, and well it is a school day

Look if I were going to get killed and eaten in a Louisianna swamp, that campground was the place.  I even rigged up an alarm system to my bags.  This consisted of my cable lock through the handles, as well as my coffee cup filled with leftover quarters from the hotel laundry.  Hey if coins in metal can stop a dog from barking…. I’m just saying.

 

Today…. it was cold when I woke up, so I went back to sleep.  It was still cold an hour later.  I planned to hit fairview park, so I didn’t want to dawdle to long.  But I didn’t get motoring until 11am, I was just cold and tired and slow.  This is a long vacation of a sort I suppose, but this morning it felt like work.  Where is the rain that is supposed to get me holed up somewhere for a day of rest?

Well once on the road, my mom once again had a travel suggestion.  Blue Bonnet Swamp nature center.  I knew a detour would make me way later than I wanted to setup camp, but like I said, I’m tired today – so I stopped.  I was the lone visitor and basically they had a bunch of snakes and turtles inside you could see and some very short wildlife sighting trails.

They were cleaning the ball python cage, so I got to say hi to the python.  They kept warning me about snakes, until I told the python lady I used to have ball pythons.  They had some nice snakes and some cool turtles.  Oh and a sticker, score!  Maybe it’s in keeping with buc-ees but they had the largest damned stuffed beaver I’ve ever seen.  No that’s not a euphemism.

While I only saw squirrels on the nature trail, it was a nice hike.  Swamps are prettier in winter due to lack of bugs.  Then again it’s hard to sneak up on wild life when you’re wearing squeaky riding boots.  I mean you can hear me a mile away.

So after a brief interlude, I ended up here at the Best Western in Covington.  I went north of the lake to avoid New Orleans.  It is one of my favorite cities on the planet, but doing the city thing is just not what I’m riding for so I skipped it and the traffic.  Of course I should have realized route 12 would have all the long haul truckers skipping new orleans as well.  Last part of the ride kinda sucked with all the trucks and bad pavement.

 

So if yesterday lots of stupid little things went wrong, today lots of stupid little things went right.  I hadn’t realized the Alamo was in San Antonio until my mom asked if I had gone there.  I really don’t much care for historical battle grounds, but I did love Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.  I did not however, inquire about the basement.  I spent longer than I meant to and checked it out.  I think that its funny we have a monument to the one time brown people won in the United States.  Although I suspect locals might think that a perverse way to view it.  That’s ok, I think it’s perverse to call yourself a patriot while wearing the flag of a traitorous insurrection that tried to destroy the nation they claim to be patriots to.  But I digress.

So from there is was out to Seguin and Autozone, where I got two replacement Xenon bulbs for 57.  Once again, big fuck you to the folks at Houston BMW.  So getting to the lightbulbs is about as easy as you could imagine requiring no tools besides my hand.  Getting the bulb out was also ridiculously easy requiring said hands.  Getting the lightbulb back in and the retaining clip set – near impossible.  There is no space between the forks and the headlight covers to really manuver.  With the fairing still on there is no way to see what your doing, and I had never done this before.  So 30 minutes of cursing, bending, contorting, taking pictures, trying to use my phone as an arthroscope etc – I finally got the bugger.  I’m pretty sure I could do it in 10 next time.   That being said I did not replace the other bulb yet.  Will probably do that in the morning.

Even more good news, the warning lights dissappeared so Helga seems 100% happy again.  The only downpoint.  I had gotten a sticker that said “You can all go to hell, and I will go to Texas, David Crockett” and I had put it on in San Antonio.  When I went to take off from the autozone, I realized it had blown off.  Boo.  I was not going back to San Antonio for another one though.

It was 1pm at this point, but I still wanted to get some forward miles, so found a Best Western on the west side of Houston and skedaddled.

It was a little rough on my back, but this best western also had a hot tub – total bonus.  Also the new hiking pants I bought yesterday to replace the ones that chaffed, in fact did not chaffe and I’m way happy about that.  Oh also picked up some face moisturizer as I’m wind burned.  So all in all a good day, fixed Helga, got some shopping done, and still made good miles.

So today was just annoying.  Started out with a warning light showing up on Helga, that was not really covered in the manual.  But it did match one of the ways the warning lights would show up if the tire pressure sensors were malfunctioning.  Which is fine, they do that a lot anyway.  But I started the morning in a not wonderful mood, and the glowing exclamation point on the display was a constant irritation, even if I wasn’t worried about it.

The grumpy feeling never really left.  I stopped at cascade caverns and the people there were grumpy too.  Thankfully the actual tour guide for the cave was cool, but in the end didn’t really break me from the funk I was in.  Once again, no campground I can go to, so hoteled it again tonight, this time Best Western outside San Antonio.

For even more fun, once I got to the hotel, the warning light was now accompanied by a “LAMP” indicator – and sure enough, my low beams are out.  So once I’m in the room I call around.  Big FUCK YOU to BMW motorcycles of Houston.  Serious douche bag on the phone, took forever, and quoted me a price of $225 for a bulb.  One – the factory part is 28 bucks and even most xenon bulbs are maybe 50-100.  As I found out later, they are even a standard h7 bulb that I will pick up at o’reilleys or autozone tomorrow.  So yeah short miles tomorrow I have to do repairs.  I’m wondering if the warning lights were about the headlamp all along as the bulb was failing.  I’ll find out tomorrow.

If Helga is having an electrical systems issue I’ll be pissed, but those tire pressure sensors fail all the time, and well helga now has over 10K on her so needing a new bulb isn’t that odd.

So besides the caves, I stopped at an REI to replace the pants I sent home due to chaffing and got some cool stickers too.  The dude behind the counter gave me a free REI Texas sticker when I mentioned I was crossing the country – Score!  Here’s hoping the new hiking pants don’t suck on the bike to.

Now that I have net and a pc at the business center, I figured I’d catch up on some stuff.  I’ll attach all the photos from the ostrich ranch here.  Also some links to the feeding videos.  Larakeet Video 1/ Video 2

I first noticed it on Day 7, but today it’s getting even more pronounced.  The road is changing the way I think.  Time is no longer the marker by which I progress my day and my days.  I don’t think in terms of minutes or hours so much as in terms of miles gone.  The typical clutter and chatter in my brain revolves around different things now the miles I covered, the distance to the next gas station, how far can I go before the minor aches become a problem.  How many miles till sunset?  It’s cool, i wanted to do such a long ride for these types of reasons.

I realize a lot of this blog sounds like whining about what hurts.  And honestly for those worried, I’m not hurting very much.  However, I am very conscious of the fact that I’m doing this solo, and have little recourse if shit happens.  So I’m monitoring myself closely.  I really can’t afford to do what I usually do, which is push through the pain and fuck myself up for days or weeks.  Since it’s on my mind, I talk about it a bunch.  But overall, my back hurts less on this ride than it does in my daily life on average.

Solo camping has been similar.  I’m very cautious and slow in my movements and planning.  I still somehow accumulate bumps and scratches but hey that’s the outdoors.  Still I am far more careful then I normally am, way more so than can be accounted for simply be being old and “responsible” whatever that means.

Other funny things, there were tons of these signs in Arizona and New Mexico and a couple in texas with what a very strange warning:

“Dust Storms may exist” or similarly “Dust Storms May Exist for the next X miles”  I wonder why dust storms get this special and odd treatment.  The warning about falling rock etc are much more simply stated on the same high ways.  It seems almost conspiratorial “Sasquatch May Exist for 5 miles” feels more appropriate.  Or perhaps metaphysical “Noble Altruism May Exist” although I’m not sure the mileage you can put on that one.  For what it’s worth, I do believe noble altruism does exist I’m also fairly certain I’ve only ever practiced selfish altruism, so the jury is out on that one.  Other signs instructed you what to do in the event you get caught in one.  SO now I know, don’t hit the brakes, pull over, shut off the vehicle, and stay inside it.  Guess I’m kinda fucked on that last tip.

ANyway here are unfiltered animal pics   Enjoy!  I enjoyed getting them.  And yes I know some are sideways.  WOrdpress upload sucks and I am not inspired to spend the time it takes to fix each one.  Maybe when I get back I’ll fix it.